- Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.
- Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.
- Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
- Dye all your underwear lime green.
- Bye three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.
- Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it.
- Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).
- Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
- Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
- Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.
- Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.
- Shave one eyebrow.
- Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
- Put horseradish in your shoes.
- Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.
- Always flush the toilet three times.
- Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.
- Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 6 hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class.
- Give him/her an allowance.
- Listen to radio static.
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