A Future With Furry Nuptials? .. A German sex psychologist says..

A German sex psychologist says more and more people are calling their true loves by a "pet" name -- which is only appropriate, when their partners are pooches. Inanimate objects are also popular ersatz mates.

Photo: She's unlikely to propose to her washing machine.

Remember The Love Boat? How about the love ferry? German sex psychologist and researcher Volkmar Sigusch sees a trend toward people having love ties to inanimate objects -- such as a boat -- or to house pets, as well as having no emotional ties at all. The renowned academic, who heads the Frankfurt based German Society for Sex Research, recently published a book called Neosexualitäten, or neo-sexuality, in which he describes the "cultural change of love and perversion" in modern society. "We live in a situation where things that were once proscribed or embarrassing or shameful can now be expressed," he said. "Today we talk about things that used to be hidden." Two of the trends he sees are towards asexuality -- where for varied reasons people show no sexual desire at all -- and objectophilia, a sexual obsession with objects or house pets.

Photo: Is it a foolish idea for them to get married?

In his book, Sigusch describes a woman whose love life gave new meaning to the term partner-ship when she fell in love with a ferry. She thought about the boat obsessively, photographed it, then decorated the photographs. She was "enraptured like one in love," he wrote. The scientist also considers people to be objectophiles who treat their pets -- mostly cats and dogs, but sometimes lizards -- like beloved partners. They hug and kiss them, spoil them, take them on vacation, dress them up -- even send them to spas or summer camps. "Some love their pets more than they have ever loved a person," he said. Those who worry that there can be no future for such a union can take heart in Sigusch's prediction that it will only be a few decades before such "partnerships" are openly recognized.

Go ahead and kiss! It's good for you! Surveys show that Germans dispense with two to three kisses a day. Going by that figure, by the time they turn 70, they’ve spent 76 days just kissing. But kissing is no waste of time, and it's healthy too. Just puckering your lips as you prepare to smooch, exercises all 34 facial muscles at the same time, endowing zealous kissers with smooth, wrinkle-free skin. Americans Eddi Leven and Delphine Orha can probably boast the smoothest skin as they set a world record for the longest kiss: 17 days and 9 hours. U.S. researchers are convinced that kissing is the elixir to a happy, healthier life. They discovered in studies that people who leave home in the morning with a smooch from their beloved, are more likely to be professionally successful, pay less visits to the doctor and are less inclined to have accidents. From a scientific point of view, a passionate kiss is supposed to provide the same kick that a 25 gram chocolate bar can -- with a crucial advantage: it doesn’t make you fat! No wonder there are signs all over the exhibition that say, "Necking allowed!"