top 5 Xxx jokes

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She
replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get
you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister,"
responded the young man. "6 shots?!? Are you celebrating
something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let
me give you a 7th on the house." "No offence, sir. But if 6
shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange
brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about
sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average penis and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently
taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.
The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to
sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his
wife again. This time he whispers in her ear: "Do you have
a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
for a number of years when he came home one day to confess
to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an
urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife
suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about
it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He
vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few
weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife
could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I
told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis
into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I
did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No,
Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."